It is already One Year 💜 !

I have always looked at the befores and afters of other people and wish it were me. Deep down I felt like I will never be able to be in their place and witness the feeling of glory after a huge transformation.
I faced so many hardships. Many people did actually put me down. And others made me feel bad about myself. The people who were supposed to support me , were the first ro laugh aty ambition. They made me feel afraid of the change. But yet I decided to go for it no matter what!
170925 was the day I met my coach Roumaissa for the first time. I was so nervous. I was like: damn, she is beautiful. I wanna be as strong and pretty as her. I told her : I wanna lose fats, and build muscles and be strong. And she was so opened to me saying things I was back in the days imagining! I said it, but I wasn't really sure I could do it.
170928, the first day at the gym. I wore a purple adidas workout suit and headed to the gym. I wasn't sure what avenue to take. I followed what seemed right until I got there. I arrived on time. I entered, changed into a casual top and leggings and put my baskets on.
I started warming up. My heart was beating so fast. I was so scared. I didn't know why though.
I started working out. Iron made such a cute friction with my skin. I felt like I was meeting an old friend, or remembering a forgotten memory from my childhood.
It was time for the hiit cardio session. It started with normal tasks that I hardly executed. It was time to do pushups. My heartbeats were getting louder. I tried but at my very first attempt I fell to the flat surface! I tried again and the same thing happened. My coach got me equipments to make it easier but I felt like I was so weak that I barely could lift myself . I cried hard. So hard.
I went back home and was determined to change .
I wasn't feeling like living in the skin of the weak girl anymore.
October. November and December .. the hardest period ever .. so many traumatizing events occurred in my life that I was at the verge of giving up everything. But I remembered that all what I had left is me. So let me invest in me and see what happens!
I thought I lost everything but indeed I had a very small feeling that I actually can do well if I try harder.
I gave myself time to accept the fact that my life is changing. I accepted the fact that I am opening up to the unknown and I should not be afraid! After all I have an image of what would happen.
2018 was coming and all my resolutions revolved over what I want me to become.
January.. the first time I take a mirror selfie at the gym.. smiling.
I used to put a very fake smile but those selfies from January were so genuine! They looked good and motivated me to a very far extent!
February, I wore boxing gloves for the first time and trained for 15 minutes on how to move and hit my aim correctly.
March, I bought myself a dumbbell necklace to remind myself that I should be strong no matter how hard life can get.
April, I broke my record on the Leg Press machine and lifted my coach in a set of 15 reps.
May, I trained during the holy month of Ramadan and restricted myself with a very balanced nutrition program and made amazing results and maintained my muscle volume.
June: had less opportunities to train but maintained my diet and shape. Had my term exams and got good grades.
July: continued my normal life of working out and got to try varieties of exercises and broke my own records over 5 times.
August: enjoyed my holidays with my family and had to explore many things and invest in my hobies. I filmed my very first travel video that looks like crap but I am proud of it because I poured my heart into it.
September: back to school with a whole new spirit living in my bubble of possibility despite the shadow surrounding it all.
Lessons:
If you feel like you are weak. Accept it and try to look for a better version of you.
If you feel sad: cry. If you feel tired: cry.
Remember to speak yourself out loud. Don't let anyone else speak on your behalf. No one knows you better than you.
Love yourself. If you want true love , start with yourself. When we love ourselves, things start looking good and enjoyable. Fears become challenges. Dreams become plans, and plans become a reality.
Learn to become someone with visions.
Someone you would be proud of everyday.
Someone you would love forever, through thick and thin.
Be yourself. Love yourself 💜
170928 ~ 180928
Happy birthday to my dear self. May I grow stronger, fitter and most importantly wiser 🙏
57 pounds is unlocked 🔓 from 180lbs to 123lbs
May my journey continue!