My healthy Lifestyle 2nd Anniversary: The Update!!
Hello everyone!! I hope you’re doing fine!!
It’s been a minute right?
I have been feeling super bored recently
not gonna lie. Staying at home and doing remarkably nothing isn’t my jam and I
seriously wanted to be back in school and kick off my last year in college uwu.
But since nothing is confirmed just yet about when and how to go for this year,
I will invest my time being in creating content and sharing ideas and stuff
with you guys.
I want to take this opportunity to thank
all of you for the massive support I got on my last blog post. It means the
world to me that you appreciated every aspect about my journey and showed nothing
but positivity to it. Really really thank you!
But for today I have prepared something
really special and meaningful to me. It would somehow be a celebration to an
event that has contributed in a huge way to the birth of the person that I am
today. If it weren’t for that day, I would have been stuck in the past with low
self-esteem, toxic relationships and obviously lots and lots of fats. It is my
second anniversary of my first day of transformation.
I couldn’t sadly produce something and post
it on time since I have been seriously ill those last couple of days. Girl
problems are getting bigger as I am aging and it’s seriously no joke. I had to
force myself to get out of my bed and do something to get me out of this lazy
and dark mood. So that would make an intro and I shall get going with the rest
of it so please keep on reading!!
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If I had to recall how my journey started,
I would say that it was a pretty tough one. I have spoken about this multiple
times already in other blog posts which I invite you to check out. I have never
planned on going to the gym back in the day. In fact, I was super drained of
hope that all I did was trying those Korean diets and call it an “attempt” of
losing weight and obviously: I would end up fatigued and dehydrated and with no
significantly visible change. I thought hard core of losing weight in no time
and in the starvation method. I would skip meals and live on lettuce and that
would be it. My dinner often consisted of instant soups and lettuce with no
carbs and no extra veggies. That has to a certain extent triggered my appetite
and everything went back to the starting point and I ate double what I used to
eat just to fulfil my desire of food. I have gotten months later to a certain
realisation or an epiphany I would call, that I should seriously endure pain if
I want something to last longer. Getting body shamed by people I considered
close was no help. Being made fun of or causing people to “gasp” at “how much
food I eat” got me to tears several times. It felt as if I was doing them wrong
by consuming “too much food”. I was mentally tired of my surroundings and I
felt like I needed to be alone or at least be more selective if I wanted to
keep my sanity and get places with my journey. My assumptions about the future
me changed from wanting to look like a specific person to losing weight. And
that’s when I met my coach Roumaissa who has been nothing but a source of
inspiration and help throughout the whole journey. I remember meeting her
randomly in the street and being mesmerised by how beautiful she looked. She
gave an aura of a very strong and thick woman and I knew right away that I
wanted to take the challenge by its horns and invest my everything to get
there. I clearly remember telling her: I want to lose every bit of fats in my
body. And she said: see you on Thursday.
That Thursday came and I wore a purple gym
suit and headed to the gym. I was super awkward and knew nobody. I started my
warm ups and started training and it was legit torture. To a certain extent, I
could afford doing everything and I followed the instructions very carefully.
It was at that moment when the cardio class started and I was required to do
push ups and couldn’t. That moment broke my heart to small bits that I couldn’t
collect anymore. I poured my eyes out and felt like I was a good for nothing
person. Days went by and I kept going to the gym and whenever I spoke excitedly
about my very small gym journey to someone, people barely congratulated me but
rather asked me to “do more”. I got to that breaking point when I was at the
verge of giving up as I no longer saw a remarkable change but thankfully I
didn’t. I just kept on giving everything in my might despite all the mental
difficulties I’ve been through. It wasn’t easy but at the same time it wasn’t
impossible.
My objective was to become healthy and I
put my everything to make it happen. At the end of the day, nobody has ever
thought I would make it. It felt like a bet to me. I had nothing to lose yet I
could win something very big so why not. Seeing how surprised some people were
after seeing me in a long time made me feel so happy and proud. Same people who
used to “gasp” at how foody I was are now “gasping” at how fit I look. Leading
me to my next point which is the things that changed after my weight loss: To
be honest, so many things changed that it is crazy to mention in just one blog post!!
I could write a book about that and it would still not be enough.
My mental health would be considered as my
biggest achievement throughout this whole journey. The person I have become is
by no way the same as before. I seriously changed in so many things that I
don’t feel like I can relate to the old me anymore. Last night I had those
thoughts of the past and I literally cried myself to sleep. I seriously don’t
know how I slept but I just feel like I blacked out at some point of the night
because I was seriously tired of all those memories lingering again. My body
doesn’t look the same. My face doesn’t look the same and I don’t even sound the
same!
People would approach me because I look
cool and dress cool and talk cool. It just shows me how shallow some people can
get! I am very happy with the people from my past who are still consistent and
never changed the way they treated me just because my body changed or my looks
changed. But for whoever decided to befriend me because of my looks: I am fully
aware of how pitiful you are and you seriously aren’t of any value in my life
anymore.
People in general be wowed by the before
after pictures online and think that these people are no longer the same
people. But indeed they are. True, so many aspects change but the core is still
the same! If I can’t relate to the old Randa, it doesn’t mean I wasn’t her at a
certain point of my life! I am still the same person and I still have feelings
too. Physical change doesn’t mean you’re up with a brand new person with whom
you would use a different register and a different attitude and think it would
go unnoticed. It just feels super disgusting and shallow and pitiful. Trust me.
If I am to speak about my current state, I
would say that physical appearance is not my main scope of interest anymore. I
am very healthy and happy with my body and that’s what matters. My doctor is
super proud whenever I visit him and he looks at my blood test results. He has
nothing but a smile on his face and I can’t thank god more for that. I have
become someone that works hard to discover the thing I am good at. I try
everything and enjoy every new thing I try and never blame failure on me. I
have grown to understand that good things take time and money, blood, sweat and
tears (and a lot of tears) determination and sacrifices, full commitment and
patience. And that’s the circle of my current life. I don’t push myself too
hard and beat me up. I don’t believe in the so called comfort zone and just go
for whatever I feel like doing and postpone whatever I don’t feel like doing
and that granted me mental peace. I can’t afford to get anxious over things I
don’t have control over. I try to do things in the way that would make people
think: “that’s very Randa” and not “that’s perfect”.
I have grown to believe that having things
done is better than having them done perfectly. Accomplishing things and being
productive in your own way is way more calming and soothing than kicking ass
super hard to get it perfect to the extent of losing every personal print and
becoming a doll “perfect” project. I still cry a lot, act stupid and I have
become great at making dad jokes! I laugh at my own things and make people
laugh too. I follow whoever makes me happy and support whoever needs help
because it makes me feel good about the person that is me and that’s my
ultimate goal. I remember god in every step I take and I always remind myself
that every cool thing happening to me is nothing but a gift from god. Indeed,
god takes somethings away from you just to give you better things and that’s a
fact that I live by. If I had any idea about what my life would look like, I
would have not shed a single tear about anything that happened in the past
because this is so worth it!!
If I were to give any advice to whomever
person that wants to start off a weight loss journey, I would tell you to first
believe in yourself. Ask yourself why do you want to do it? Where is it taking
you? What will you become after it? Is it what you seriously want? Are you
aware of how hard the process will be? Do you think you can make it? Please be
aware of every answer to those questions. Make a solid decision and grab your
gym bag and go smash the gym. Spend your money on oats and veggies and eat more
and train more and talk less and interact less and be selective. Keep good
people in your surroundings and acknowledge them all the way long!!
For that I want to give a very big shout
out to some of the people that have been there since day one and never left my
side despite the ups and downs of our friendship. Those people have held me in
the arms and swiped my tears and hugged me tight and told me I can do it.
Please relate to this and know that I love you so much and that I appreciate
your existence! Be healthy and happy all the time!!
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THAT’S A WRAAAP!!!
I guess that this would make it to this
very random post!! Excuse the grammar mistakes and typos y’all I seriously am
far away from writing academic stuff you know!! I wanted this to be raw, from
the heart and a soul to soul talk! I want you guys to be able to relate to my
writings just as they are without adding up those polishing techniques that
would just strip it from it’s human nature
( words aren’t human right? Or are they?heheh!!)
Thank you so much for reading my content!!
I will never be able to thank you enough I swear!!
Eat well and stay hydrated and as usual!!See
you in my next one!! Bye byeee!!!
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